Not my plan; not so bad

I’m 25 today.  It’s the 25th of October.  I’m a nerd.

For those reasons, I’ve been looking forward to this day for, well, years.  (This is similar to looking forward to the year 2000 since the day I figured out that I would likely live to see that day.)

I also had some plans for my life between then and now.  Some of those plans were fanciful, some were hopeful, and some were as near rock-solid as one’s plans can be.  Many of those plans changed in the meantime, shifted, and morphed into new dreams and ideas.

The realization hit, oh, three weeks ago, that many of the most important of those plans haven’t actually happened.  With that realization came a subtle (or not-so-subtle some days) disappointment and dread of today, as if my 25th birthday marked the end of life-as-a-good-thing.  Some of you may be laughing right now, having survived the passage of a birthday such as this one and having realized that such concerns may be real but will not change anything.

As I looked ahead to this weekend, planning on spending the bulk of it with a van full of kids on a weekend trip, I determined that I didn’t want to be depressed for my birthday.  The lies came, and I finally determined that the only way to make this once-anticipated, now-dreaded birthday better would be to make it a day of determination.

After a Sunday School lesson on patience and a very clear message for me that trusting God with my life is still the way to go, I watched my kids sing their hearts out, listened to the Word of God, and saw a bunch of kids respond to the wooing of God’s Spirit.

And my long-held beliefs in God’s goodness became more and more solid.  The first is especially applicable today!

1. Because of God’s lovingkindness, I will not be shaken. (Psalm 21:7)

I got home to a silent, still house and enjoyed a few moments of reflection.  In the midst of reflection, I heard truth to further quell the lie of despair: just because it’s not my plan doesn’t mean it’s bad.  (duh!)  I may have finished 25 years of life, but they are only the down payment on an eternity of God’s glory.

By Faith

Last Saturday, I had a lovely date with my dad (Korean barbecue- yum!!), then he asked if I had any plans for the evening.

By way of explanation, my dad and I enjoy spending time together…but this was a little different because he had scheduled it a week in advance for dinner at 4pm.  Something was afoot, but I didn’t know what.

I said, “no,” and he kept driving…and driving…and soon we were in Bellevue, getting off the freeway to I-didn’t-know-where.  The question of our destination had floated through my brain often, but two facts kept me from asking:

1. I didn’t think he would tell me.

2. I trust my dad.

By this time, I was getting more curious.  He asked if I was wondering, and I explained my curiosity and rationale for not asking any questions.  As we pulled into a local church with a sign announcing a Keith and Kristyn Getty (known for “In Christ Alone”) concert that night, it all made sense.  My mom, Bean, and Simon were there too, and we enjoyed a fabulous evening of worship.

The song that I keep replaying fits well with the hour before the concert.  I have lots of evidence to trust my earthly dad who has faithfully cared for me for almost 25 years, and I have even more evidence to trust my heavenly dad who knew me and loved me before anyone else.

By faith we see the hand of God

In the light of creation’s grand design

In the lives of those who prove His faithfulness

Who walk by faith and not by sight

…

We will stand as children of the promise

We will lift our eyes to Him, our soul’s reward

‘Til the race is finished and the work is done

We’ll walk by faith and not by sight.

You can watch and listen to it here or here.

An afternoon in my class:

“Ms. Olson, your boots look like a black widow.”

——–

“Are we going to see real dinosaurs?”

——-

Me: “What do you call a dinosaur that eats meat?”

Student A: “Carnivore!”

Me: “What is an herbivore?”

Student B: “A dinosaur that doesn’t eat meat!”

Student C: “What about a vegetarian?”

Victory and Safety

Where there is no guidance the people fall,

But in abundance of counselors there is victory. (*also translated safety*)

-Proverbs 11:14

Several circumstances and a few more conversations have left me considering the role of mentors and close relationships in my life once again.  There was a time, not long ago, when I thought about this topic nearly daily, taught about it often, and pursued it actively.

Somehow (and that’s a different story), life has happened and my active pursuit has waned due to neglect.  I am contemplating a semi-major decision at the moment, though, and have found myself realizing my need of the counsel and guidance afresh.  As I thought about it last night, the following questions for prayer and reflection came to mind:

1. Who is speaking into your life?
2. Are you pursuing God’s wisdom (as opposed to the wisdom of the age), especially in the challenging areas of life?
3. Are you actively seeking the victory found in the abundance of counselors?
4. Are you willing to truly listen to the hard truth, spoken in love?
5. Are you open to wisdom from godly but unexpected sources?
6. Do you discount what you don’t like without thought and prayer?
7. Does your attitude indicated teachability so as to encourage advisement?

Picture Day

Tomorrow is Picture Day.

I will give my 2nd annual speech to my kiddos about how this year’s picture will be one of the cutest of their school careers.  We will practice big grins, showing teeth, and being proud of the empty spaces that characterize first- and second- grade smiles.

The benefits of teaching primary students pop up in the least expected places…but the 22 little smiles I’ll see tomorrow morning will leave me with a big one, too.

Declining Abundance

I heard about a concept in conservation biology the other day that got me thinking about how the same truths could be applicable in the body of Christ.  After a weekend in the town of my childhood complete with amazing stories of God’s work there in the last 100 years,  I have fewer answers than ever.

From what I understand, declining abundance is a well-documented phenomena in the natural world.  With various species, the number of organisms in a particular area can decrease due to any number of factors, human and not.  Over time, the measure of “abundance” can also change.  What is considered an abundant population now may be half of the population 20 years ago.

As I sat and listened to story after story of incredible healings and restoration over the last 100 years, I wondered if it is possible for the church to experience the same sort of change.  Is it possible that our perception of God is different enough today to significantly alter our expectations and faith for what His abundant life and work could look like?

If so, my guess is that such a slide occurs over time, slowly enough that we don’t notice it.  It’s only in taking a look back or sometimes, by looking at another believer, that we notice it.  Self-reliance creeps in and our default shifts from trusting God to show up to trying to make life work independently.

So I pray for eyes of faith to see the abundance that God would gladly provide.

What do you think?  Have you seen changes in the body of Christ in your lifetime?

“I want to be like you!”

Every once in awhile, the power of influence smacks me in the face and leaves me either laughing or speechless.  Today, it did both.

During the walk-a-thon, one of my little ones (the fine, fine girl!) with lots of energy would check in with me each time she passed me.  She would say things like, “You have a good pace, Ms. Olson! Keep up the good work!”  and “You can do it, Ms. Olson!”  She would give me a big smile, a thumbs up, and run off to lap me again.  (Boundless energy comes in handy at least once a year- my class set the primary record of 44 miles walked/run in 30 minutes today!)

Later, I read the letters some of my kids wrote to me today.  One of my elders (2nd grade students) wrote a lovely letter about how she wants to be a teacher, “so I can be just like you!”

And again, I pray that the words of my mouth would be pleasing in the Master’s sight.  They just might come out of a little mouth, too!

Every day- a privilege?

“Every day here is a privilege.”

That’s how Scott Martin ends most  of the blog posts he writes.  Even when he’s sick.  Even when his son is sick.

Scott, his wife Crystal, and their two sons are in Kazakhstan with a group of Chi Alpha students, working with university students there and building for the kingdom.

The question that strikes me often as I read that is, “Do I consider every day a privilege?”  Granted, I would love to spend a chunk of time building for the kingdom internationally.  Hopefully, someday I will.

In the meantime, though, I’m called to build for the kingdom here, now.  Do I consider it a privilege to love 22 little people each day?  Sometimes, I do.  Sometimes, I forget.

Today was a privilege.  Tomorrow will be, too.

Back at the Saturday Evening Post

Check out more “best of the month” posts at Elizabeth Ester’s blog here. Feel free to add your own favorite post from the month of September, too.  I chose “Reading, writing, and…aiming?” to contribute.

Yay for feeling good and having a voice again!

Silence

My week of nearly-complete silence has brought to mind the inward silence that I am trying to cultivate.

I realized that I don’t have as much to say as I thought I did.

That goes for communication with other people and communication with God.  I’m learning a lot.