I really have no time to spend on this…I should be sleeping, since I have to be up for class. The class I have tomorrow is already less than my favorite, and I’ll need all the sleep I can get to stay engaged and get anything at all out of it. But here I am posting anyway…
Tonight was the second meeting of the Fusion small group that I lead. I’m really blessed by the students who are coming; they seem like the committed, caring type. I think that there is a lot of potential for growth and outreach.
My original plan for tonight was something along these lines:
6:45- leave for women’s ministries meeting
7:20- leave from women’s ministries meeting to come back to campus and get ready for Fusion
7:30- get back to my room; put together peach crisp and put it in the oven
7:40- have everything in the lounge for Fusion group; start praying with those who came early to do so
8:00- start Fusion group
In the end, I skipped the women’s ministries meeting since I was only going to be there for 20 minutes, and I would spend more than 20 minutes getting there (between walking to my car, driving there and back, and walking back to my room). I felt really bad about not being there, but it came down to the fact that I still needed to look at my plans for the group more, and going seemed like a less-than-wise use of my time. I know that I am tired and need to catch up on my sleep because I cried after I called the women’s ministries chairlady to let her know that I wouldn’t be there.
It was a little wake up call as to how much I like to please other people. Most of the time, as long as I choose the right people to please, this works well for me. However, it’s not the best motivation, and God is helping me to adjust it. Some things take time, and He shows me when I’m going back to default mode (pleasing people) instead of trusting Him mode (pleasing Him).
I’m often amazed at how seemingly insignificant things are used to draw me closer to God. He’s pretty cool. 🙂