I’m supposed to be packing…this time, for camp. I’ll be sharing a cabin with eight 6th and 7th graders and a co-counselor for the next week. Camp is a bit of a summer tradition for me, and this year marks a return to the camp that I first attended as a scared/excited/nervous/insecure little 4th-grader. There are numerous landmarks at camp for me, but the one that continues to most affect how I see the world and my relationship with God happened the summer before 9th grade.
I knew that “seeking God” was something I was supposed to do. I had tried to, to the best of my ability, and God had been faithful to me. That said, I had a strong idea that “seeking God” was pretty nebulous and vague, and the idea that I would need to seek God for the rest of my life was translated in my head to “never succeeding.” It was a task I couldn’t finish, a race I couldn’t win. For a perfectionist, my natural and subconscious response was, “Why bother?”
I knew Jesus; we had a relationship. That summer changed my perspective on Jesus forever, though. During prayer time one night, as my friends and I prayed together, something clicked for the first time. Instead of seeking and never finding, asking and never receiving, and trying but always failing, I saw a glimmer of hope that I could seek and find, ask and receive, and try and succeed. It didn’t mean that I wouldn’t continue to desire to know Jesus ever more; it meant that I would “taste, and see that the Lord is good” and long for more.
It was a good way to start high school. There was (and is!) still a lot to learn about what it means to know God’s heart and live in His ways, and that’s ok. I’m now delighted at the chance to spend the rest of my life scratching the surface.
Please pray for me, my girls, and the rest of the campers and staff over the next week. May many more kids know Jesus better by next Sunday!
This is, according to WordPress, the 400th post to this blog. That includes the posts that were first published on another blog but were moved here when I started this one. Thanks for being a part of my story by reading!