I think about “a year ago” a lot. I have for years, so the dramatic change between this year and last year has exacerbated it, but it didn’t start it.
Lately, a year ago has come up a lot. I can’t count all the changes; a few are obvious, and a few are not. My vocation has obviously changed. Along with it, my schedule has changed. My home has changed, my proximate community has changed, my church has changed, and the weather around me has changed drastically.
Sometimes, it’s tempting to more-than-momentarily revisit “a year ago.” It seems easier, more fun, and generally nicer. And yet, I realize that the distance between now and then also glosses over the tough things. They were hard, frustrating, and/or painful at the time, and now I see the blessings that resulted: confidence in God, perspective, healthy relationships, and more. The glory of the light afflictions is bright, and the weight is not so bad. A year ago may have been easier, more fun, and nicer, but I was still learning. The lessons I learned then were not painless, and neither are the lessons of the present.
As excited as I was to get ready for a wedding a year ago, the beauty of a godly marriage is better. As much as I liked planning and awaiting a proposal a year ago, the perfection of God’s timing is better. As much as I loved life a year ago and said so, I must love Jesus more. He is in the present, too.
So I guess that I will continue my endeavor to be who I am where I am…and add “when I am” to my goal, by the grace of God.