Not my plan; not so bad

I’m 25 today.  It’s the 25th of October.  I’m a nerd.

For those reasons, I’ve been looking forward to this day for, well, years.  (This is similar to looking forward to the year 2000 since the day I figured out that I would likely live to see that day.)

I also had some plans for my life between then and now.  Some of those plans were fanciful, some were hopeful, and some were as near rock-solid as one’s plans can be.  Many of those plans changed in the meantime, shifted, and morphed into new dreams and ideas.

The realization hit, oh, three weeks ago, that many of the most important of those plans haven’t actually happened.  With that realization came a subtle (or not-so-subtle some days) disappointment and dread of today, as if my 25th birthday marked the end of life-as-a-good-thing.  Some of you may be laughing right now, having survived the passage of a birthday such as this one and having realized that such concerns may be real but will not change anything.

As I looked ahead to this weekend, planning on spending the bulk of it with a van full of kids on a weekend trip, I determined that I didn’t want to be depressed for my birthday.  The lies came, and I finally determined that the only way to make this once-anticipated, now-dreaded birthday better would be to make it a day of determination.

After a Sunday School lesson on patience and a very clear message for me that trusting God with my life is still the way to go, I watched my kids sing their hearts out, listened to the Word of God, and saw a bunch of kids respond to the wooing of God’s Spirit.

And my long-held beliefs in God’s goodness became more and more solid.  The first is especially applicable today!

  1. Because of God’s lovingkindness, I will not be shaken. (Psalm 21:7)

I got home to a silent, still house and enjoyed a few moments of reflection.  In the midst of reflection, I heard truth to further quell the lie of despair: just because it’s not my plan doesn’t mean it’s bad.  (duh!)  I may have finished 25 years of life, but they are only the down payment on an eternity of God’s glory.


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