Failure

You know it’s a good book when you have to stop in the middle and journal before you can go on.* It’s a good meal, and time for digestion is necessary.

Culture Making, by Andy Crouch, is one of those books.

Because this is neither my journal* (nor the rambling email I proceeded to write) I’ll focus on one quote that captures my attention.

Grace is not an exemption from failure. It is, however, what makes it possible to sustain hope in the midst of failure.

I want an exemption from failure, please. Can I order one of those up?

There’s a part of me (a rather good-sized part, if I’m honest), that doesn’t really care how much grace is involved in the failure. I’d like to avoid it.

But the fact is that I am sitting on my couch at 8:35pm on a Friday night having said fewer than 50 words today. The fact is that I was not in grade three today with my kiddos. The fact is that today was a day of failure, if failure is defined by what I do. (That’s another conversation entirely!)

And grace? Grace is here. Grace is the cool fan, the warm tea, the kind emails from work, the fresh papaya, the peace. Grace is the realization that I have already failed as much as possible and been loved more than I know. Grace is a fresh understanding of truth. Grace is knowing that even when I know failure, failure does not define me. Grace is hope in this moment.

The good news is that this, too, will pass. A few days of silence does not mean the end of the world. Bigger failure will come, has come. Instead of fearing failure, I will endeavor to live each day in the grace that is big enough to sustain hope no matter what. That takes grace. And that’s okay.

*Yes, the teacher-geek in me is thinking of how I just must share this experience with the readers and writers in my care on Monday. What a great job I have! šŸ™‚

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