I write to get things figured out.
The blog gets silent when things feel…unfigured…unsettled…generally, un-. It gets silent when life gets crazy. It gets silent when my home internet goes down, and stays silent when months pass and the internet still doesn’t work.
So may this serve as my apology for being generally absent. After being convicted of my desire to keep things private until they are neat and tidy, I’m here to take a baby step into the vulnerable place of wrestling publicly.
Seven months into life in the Philippines, I feel no closer to conclusion on the matter of what to do with privilege than when I came. I see my privilege more than I did living in the U.S., but I’m not sure how much more I actually possess. During International Week, I read If the World Were a Village, a kid-sized view into the inequality in the world. We discussed how unfair life is and how much we have- clean water, food, shelter, education, etc.
Around the same time, I was finishing Playing God by Andy Crouch. It’s an excellent book for anyone in any sort of leadership- leading kids in a classroom or leading adults in a job or leading a family or the other forms of “leadership” we have. I read slowly, reflecting a lot on the power I have, the temptations we all face, and the ways I am called to bear God’s image faithfully. Crouch addresses injustice and privilege as they relate to our use of power.
Then today, I happened across this post On Being Rich by a missionary in Burundi. While he is in a very different part of the world than I am, his words about our richness and the warning of Christ in the midst of wealth struck me.
Where does this leave me? I’m not really sure. I’m loving the much simpler life I live here. I’m quite sure that I haven’t fully mapped my own footprint here and wonder if I ever will be able to do so. And I long to follow Jesus in the little ways as well as the big, even when I’m not totally sure what that looks like.
(If this were my kids’ writing, I’m sure we would have a conversation about the organization of this post. But…it’s not figured out, and I’m going to leave it for now. Ok?)