Today really marks the it’s-over-there’s-no-more-fall-semester point for me. Fall 2007, and thus my first semester in 6 years to not be a college student, is over.
There were no finals to stress about, but no finals to be relieved about.
There was no last-minute rush to finish projects, but no projects to be proud of accomplishing.
There were no grades to earn, so there are no grades to check online with anticipation and fear and trembling.
I realized today, talking with Katie in her dorm room for the last time of the semester, and a few days ago as I took Jenni to the airport, that this was a good semester. The artificially imposed timeline and structure of classes didn’t surround me this semester, so it is clearer than ever that the success of this semester is not dependent on those things. Katie and and I discussed how this semester has been good, and that is because we both had a sense that we have partnered with God in the working out of His purposes by His grace. We looked back and enjoyed reflecting on God’s work in and around us.
This semester (without school for me) was good because God is good, and He showed up. As I look back to my apprehensions about the last few months, and even my concern that I wouldn’t get to learn as much because I wouldn’t be taking classes, I have to laugh. I’m pretty sure that I’ve learned as much or more in the last four months as I did any semester in college.
The learning has been harder in some ways. It wasn’t optional- not going to the class of life wasn’t a valid option. I have been stretched and graciously guided out of my comfort zone over and over again. (I’d like to think that my comfort zone has been obliterated, and so I can no longer retreat to it, but I find myself trying to find it on occasion.) I’ve learned a little about ministry as a lifestyle and administration as a job, Sabbath and work and started learning about firstfruits. I’ve learned about fear and how it has no rightful place in my life. Mostly though, I’ve learned about myself, living in relationship with people, and a whole lot about the incredible God that I get to know and love and, out of the knowing and loving, serve.
And the more I learn, the more I see that there is to learn. I have nothing figured out, and I’m learning that it’s ok.
So, as much as I love school and would love to go back at some point, I look forward to the rest of my life with the best Teacher I know. It surely won’t be boring.